depressed. meaningless. nothing. life is nothing. i have nothing to look forward to, yet i keep on living and i don't know how to change things. all i want to do is go to the beach. all i want to do is see the ocean. i can't even do that because i maxed out my credit card supporting my boyfriend.

Humor, and what it means to me

I've always wished I were the creative one. The one who could just pick up an instrument (whether it be musical, a pen, or paintbrush) and have that thing be an extension of me.

I've realized I can't write a novel - I don't have the patience and I just can't drink that much any more. My outlet will be humor - making people laugh (or trying to.) Atleast in this I've had some confirmation that it works.

Graduate school (dropout) did teach me one thing - I love for academic journals. So - I'm going to go so far as to RESEARCH humor - it's effects on the human brain, psyche, health -- whatever. The technical side of being funny....Can I go back to school and major in English, Drama, and Cognitive Psychology?

I am usually all over the map, so forgive me as I try to learn to express my self in a way that doesn't make me seem like andy kaufman on sarah silverman. That's another thing - I can do without the sarah silverman comparisons. I align myself more with Tina Fey, I think.